从北京回来了一周，每天都在忙碌，无论是糟糕的生活，还是萎靡不振的工作。可以说，这是目前的状态吧，我真的很担心。但是我不知道该如何去改善，那天我给一个朋友说，别人总是在不断的提高和渐入佳境，而我现在的状态实在是一种很难讲的情况。

终于完成了“任务”，生了个男孩，门哥很幸福的样子。从今天一天的表现看，我觉得大家都很幸福，马上倩倩同志也将有个BB了，葡萄目前是开心和担心，再看看牛，牛满脸洋溢着幸福的表情，虽然今天今天打牌输了钱，不过值得。哈哈。今天不败的神话终于破灭了。

接下来的日子，我很清楚自己将要干什么，工作毫无疑问是最重要的事情，无论是否有爱情，被BOSS肯定还是很满足，很有成就感。

昨天晚上四个朋友坐在Waiting For You，我也不知道为什么自己想喝酒，四个人喝了十五瓶啤酒，其实并不多，但是我醉了，痛快的吐了，之后心里满是悔恨与伤心，被空虚的感觉淹没了。说实话，那时我很想去放纵自己，我活的很累，真的很累。躺在孤独的单人床上，只想尽快入睡，不想被死亡的恐惧一次又一次冲击我的心灵。人总说“五十知天命”，难道我已经五十岁了吗？我的世界是复杂的，意淫的。

写着，写着，我的心里就不再平静了，心中的很多想法都想肆无忌惮的发泄出来，因为也许发泄后，我才能归于安静，归于沉默。

北京，一个看似遥远，却又触手可及的地方，留下了心中抹不去的旧爱。脑海中依旧是熟悉的面孔，甜蜜的微笑，轻声细语的问候。

一年又这样悄无声息的从我的指间溜走了。我爱你，永远的，心里面最想说给你听得。但是已经没有机会了，再也没有机会了。这条路只是我一个人的路，是一条没有永远的路。

Everyday is busy after coming back, whatever worse life or shit work. I can say that’s the real status right now. I’m worry about it.But I have no idea to improve them.I told a friend of mine, everyone is improving ceaselessly, but my status is too unstable to control.

Lily completed her’s mission, ’cause she has a pretty lovely baby, of course, Mr. Men is very happiness. I can see it today, I think everyone is very happiness. Mrs. HF will have a baby,and our gaming girl Ms. Lau is happiness no doubt, even she lost the game, but I think she feel worthy. Well, it’s so glad that our indefectible myth is ended.

I’m so clear to know what to do in the future. Working is the most important, whatever having a girlfriend or not. But I feel satisfying and successful that is affirmed by boss.

Last night four guys is in “Waiting for you”, I don’t know why I wanna drink, we drank 15 bottles of beer.I feel sad,pain

ful after I was drunk.After being drunk,I’m full of sorrow and penitence for my faults.I’m finding that I have been living wearily.I’m so weary,I mean really! When I lie in the bed, what I think is to sleep immediately, I wanna escape from the fear of death. People always say “You will know your destiny in the age of fifty”, ain’t I fifty already? My world is so complex and warm.

Writing and writing, I can’t feel peaceful. All thoughs in my mind wanna come out of it. Perhaps when it’s done, I should be silence and peaceful.

My momery love was left behind Peking, where is so far or not to me. And my mind is so clearn to remember the familiar face, sweet smiles and tender careness.